TCP/IP HO
by funky49
 
[verse 1]
i used to chat to attract that ass
them days past, cant lambast
still I got lessons for the present
call me super infomation delicatessen 
see any chat place you invade
always got fools who masqurade
i'm not talking IP, talking identity
treat all nicknames as nonentities
some people's schtick, to mimic chicks 
and trick to rise your dick, 
target guys who chat with cats
thinking they're up to bat
fool  ... its not like that.
don't be causin' yourself real strife
thinkin' its real life, aight?
in the monitor glow imma tap that nose 
of bro sending hoes ascii art roses
if you don't know, now you know
stay away from TCPIP hoes

[hook]
TCP/IP ho! X 4

[verse 2]
nothing is as it seems, especially - if you see 
your dream girl chattin' on the IRC
from her handle you would never-ever know
if she's a he, a beau or bro
little girl named Pearl, chat rooms her world
sending pics of her hair curled
IRC, message boards, girl adored
hearts soon scored poured by chattin' hoards
don't feel disgraced or sprayed with mace
every case pitfalls in cyberspace
cause 'Pearl' pees while standing up
plays football and she wears a cup
if you don't know, now you know
stay away from TCPIP hoes, 

""i want a man with big hands, broadband, 
drives around in a child molester van
this is Wendy, let's meet at Applebee's, 
i got buns if you got the cheese""

that screen name in AIM, ain't no dame
it's a fed agent playing shell games
guised as child, foolin' pedophiles
lookin' for some kid to do things wild
meets at Burger King for unspeakable things
don't forget parents don't bring
but this screen name's got friends with guns,
badges, bandwidth paid for by public funds
sly FBI chastise old guys with eyes 
for cheerleader thighs, say goodbye
straight to the clink, no time for think
what you did wrong pretending to love N'Sync
if you don't know, now you know
stay away from TCPIP hoes, 
 
[hook]
TCP/IP ho! X 4
 
[verse 3]
there's a girl named Kitty, she is pretty
has webcam to show off her titties
made a site, registered domain name
she gained fame but had no shame
for a dollar, scrubs joined fan club
told these men she was looking for love
she weeded out the uglies and the phonies
picked out men for matrimoney
now they wouldn't be so interested
if they knew that she had six kids!
the word got out, men stopped coming
to the IP ho, internet slumming
if you don't know, now you know
she cropped her kids from her photos

this kid, Tom, needs a date to the prom
the only girls he knew came on CD-ROM
chat rooms, up late, single male straight
looking for a mate or at least a great date
from a neighbor school, he found his lady
chess club member by the name of Sadie
with a good jump shot, smoked pot 
to add to the plot her pics were hot
now they planned, to meet at six oh clock
But at the Bell poor Tom got shocked 
when they met, up she was no high school hottie
but a stank ass lady with an old dirty body
Annie the granny in wet panties
wantin' love for her nooks and crannies
to the Prom, Tommy still took her
screwed all night with the old ass hooker
if you don't know, now you know
stay away from TCPIP hoes
if you don't know, now you know
stay away from TCPIP hoes
 
[hook]
TCP/IP ho! X 4

(c) 2002
funky49 music productions